irony

after you left, friends would ask, as if the answer would comfort me, "was there anything wrong with him?" and i thought about it thinking surely there was something i disliked yet put aside... "nothing... everthing was great." i'd respond. i was honest. i could never think of a thing until now. you don't care as much as i do. it's no ones fault just the way things are. kharma possibly. you hesitate and i don't. i'm ready to give everything and you push me away. one month for every three. and it kills me. you've got me more scared than ever before.

i know he would always do anything for me. do whatever he could to make me happy, but it scares me that someone cares that much about me. he knows more about me than most and he still lingers. why wouldn't i just take that? what's wrong with that? someone willing to do whatever they can to keep you and please you? thats all i've ever asked from anyone else.

maybe it hurts so bad because i know exactly how you feel... what you want you can't have, and what wants you you're scared of. i'm your book on the shelf and i can't do that to him anymore. it's best to let him forget.